I want a boy who will stay with me
for always. He'll know you can never
say I love you too many times.
But he knows not to say it if he
doesn't mean it with all his heart.
He'll give me his favorite
sweatshirt. He'll make me a
Build-A-Bear. And he won't care
about how silly he looks being
in a store full of 2nd graders
because he knows it would be
special to me. He'll stay home
with me and watch The Notebook.
And he'll tell me he loved it even
though he didn't and the only
person he would ever watch
it with would be me. He'll
call me at 3 am and ask me
what I'm doing. He'll tell me he
couldn't fall asleep because he was
thinking about me and he needed
to hear my voice. He can't
walk next to me without holding
my hand. And he always whispers
something sweet in my ear.
He'll take me to a concert
to see his favorite band. And
he won't get embarrassed to
tell me he loves me in front of
his friends. When I cry he'll tell
me I'm too beautiful to and he'll
kiss away every tear. He'll
always make me feel better
because he knows the perfect
things to say to me. All of his friends
will know we're in love because
he'll talk about me to them.
When we're walking together
he'll stop and pick up a flower
and put it behind my ear.
He'll tell me I'm a princess.
And treat me like one too.
He'll love everything about me and
tell me that I'm perfect. We always end up
laughing about silly fights.
We won't get mad for making fun
of each other because we crack up
at every bit of it. Even if we're a
million years old, butterflies will
still go crazy inside of me every
time he kisses me. He'll tell
me he'd die without me.
He'll surprise me by bringing
me over my favorite food when I'm
having a bad day. When we go out for
ice cream, he'll put some on my nose
then I'll put some all over his face.
And we just never stop laughing.
He's interested in everything I say
and he always cares about it.
He'll buy me jewelry and bouncy
balls from vending machines. He won't
stop playing until he's won me
a stuffed animal. He'll take
walks with me in the
snow and we'll catch
snowflakes on our tongues.
He doesn't even like snow,
but I love it. Every time I
even hear his name,
it takes my breath away.
And when I hear him speak,
I'll fall in love all over again.
He'll pay for me all the time
even though I never want him to
but I can never win.
But with him I could never lose either.
Because everything about him
is just so wonderful, and perfect.
I'll be his everything.
And he'll be even more to me.
He will love me for always.

That explains so much... but it's still not enough to explain exactly how I feel.

I love you Jackson!

BLAH!

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud; it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Prom yesterday was great. I got some of the pictures back already, now I'm just waiting on the ones my sister and my grandfather took. The ones I got back were really good though. Anyways, I have to go and study for a history test. Woo Hoo. Yall have a great night. I'll put pics on here later.

So yea, I'm confused. I have one person telling me he is dying. It's scary. I don't want him too, I'm WAY to young to be thinking of that happening. But then again, he did it to himself. But it's not fair. I just don't understand why. I don't know if he is streching the truth or if it's for real.

Then, I just have to ask the question... am I not good enough? I mean really, I try my damndest.... but I guess I'm still not good enough. I don't understand why people think that they should have to hide things. Really, is it worth it? Like I said to someone the other day, I would rather you tell me the truth me and it bring tears to my eyes than you lie to me and it bring a smile to my face. Really, is it that hard to understand?

I know that everyone thinks my posts are all random and out of whack here latley, but I guess that's just how my life is. I don't understand hardly anything anymore. I don't understand why the people that love me love me. And I don't understand why I have LOST my "best friend." I don't understand how the person that you thought would never die can start slipping away. I don't understand why people lie. Seriously, people usually find out the truth in the end anyways. I just wish that I could find the answer to all this crap. Oh well, I guess it will come in time? Yall have a great rest of the weekend. School Monday = complete gayness. Oh well, that's life.